DangerousAdviceForLife

For your information, I have just got in this evening having had my backside well and truly spanked.

No, not the kind you are thinking of.

This unfortunate ass beating, in addition to giving me a red behind, got me thinking about how to be a loser, and more importantly how to be a better loser when life requires it. (Actually  life never really requires you to be a loser, but in some cases it is unavoidable, much like stampeding moose)

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Tick Tick BOOM

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Now thinking is a dangerous thing at the best of times and should really only really be attempted under strict safety guidelines and ideally from a bunker at least 400 foot underground. 406 feet is overkill.

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Unfortunately there was not bunker to hand or even a above averagely  constructed garage and so I got thinking and now, as much as I dislike writing about my short term thoughts, especially thoughts on what I define as quite “Cliche” topics that everyman and his strangely literate dog has written about, I am to share one of the ticking time-bombs that are my minds inner workings. I hope it helps you… or not, whatever works.

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Long Live America

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The perpetrator of my unfortunate sore ass was a good American friend of mine that, over the course two and a half incruciatingly painful hours, proceeded to humiliate me in the trigomical game that is affectional known to most as “Pool.”

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For those not familiar with pool the objective of the game is to hit some colored balls into some holes using some other white ball and a stick. It all takes place on top of a green felt table and there is usually some chalk thrown in there too.

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Trust me, it’s a lot more entertaining then it sounds. Think the tactics of American Football, coupled with the precision of darts and the modern dress sense of a 70s drunk.

Unfortunately, even a last minute flurry of wins did not save me from bowing out losing 10 sets to 5. A bitter defeat helped only by the fact that, graciously, we weren’t playing by our usual rules.

Normally when my American friend and I play, we don’t use a scoreboard to keep count of games.

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In our rules, the loser of each games get a “Loser Mark” of chalk on their face so that score is gloriously up front and personal for everyone to see.

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I think you will agree it is both brilliant and highly entertaining, unless of course if you are losing considerably. My face tonight would have be covered.

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Oi Loser

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So why do I bring this up and where do I have the guts and gall to call you a loser too?

Please do not call out the ninja assassins on me just yet. Let me explain myself as the answer is actually quite simple.

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I lost today and at some point in your life, like the bad guys in a James Bond movie, you will lose too.

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If you have never lost or failed at anything then you, my friend, have not pushed the boat out and really lived – stop hiding in the shadows because, if nothing else, bogey man hide in dark places.

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We all lose at some time in our lives, that is a similarity we all share. What makes people different is how one loses.

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I was listening again to Coach John Wooden the other day over at TED.com where he speaks on True Success. John Wooden, affectionately known as Coach to his players, led UCLA to record wins that are still unmatched in the world of basketball today and yet when he speaks on success, his level of humility and lack of ego, combined with his wise insight and passion for his players is incredible, and very hard to watch without being moved in some way. I definitely recommend checking it out.

Within his talk he made a point that, like a zebra trying to hide against a red wall, really stood out for me. Something I hope I managed to display during my spectacular loosing streak. John Wooden made the excellent comment that:

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If a latecomer came to a game and they didn’t know the score, I hoped that they would not be able to tell who was winning and who was losing from the behavior of my players.

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Many people can be a good winner, but very few can be a good loser.

And by being a good loser I do not mean being able to say “Well played, you deserved to win” through teeth more gritted then the roads in Sweden.

Being a good loser, I believe, is defined by your actions during and after the game. I hope that while we were playing today; laughing, smack talking and just enjoying each others company and the love of the game, those around us could not tell who was winning and who was losing.

I, like I’m sure many of you, am a very competitive person by nature and I like to win, sometimes to the detriment of enjoying the game. John Wooden’s words resonated deeply with me and I hope they do so with you also.

Did my friend let up the banter because I was losing badly? Of course not and I would have thought less of him if he had. In the pub afterwards when we met the girls was I let off for being a good sport? Not a chance, I was taunted mercilessly. That is the way it goes.

However I genuinely enjoyed the banter as I found today that,

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Once you remove the ego, you can enjoy life and competition whether you are winning or losing.

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With this new viewpoint on losing and personally realising that actually, while I will always aim to win, being a great loser and never giving up no matter what the odds or margins are against you, will do more to reveal and develop your character then by being the best at everything.

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Let us hope that in competition and in life, if people are unaware of the circumstances, that they cannot tell if we are winning or losing.

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