People, on the whole, are pretty honest. However collectively as a society they are lying to you every single day and for the most part you are probably buying into the lies. This post focuses on the 5 whopping lies that people live under and 5 brutal truths that are usualy swept under the rug. Knowing these 10 things will drastically help you break free in your life. It will take around 10mins to read but is worth it…I promise.
Also before we begin I would like to say that if you haven’t yet commented on the Previous “Non Book Review” Post on “The Leap” then I would definitely recommend it as the Author Rick Smith has kindly offered to answer any questions you leave in the comments. If you have read the book this is a great opportunity and if you are thinking about it why not get it from the Author. Rick has also got a competition running on his blog for a chance to win two signed copies of his book, well worth checking out.
Now if you are sitting comfortably, I will begin.
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The Whopping Lies Society Tells You
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Advertising, Companies, Status Quo, Sheeplike behavior and even governments help these lies to flourish in society and understanding them is the first step to breaking away from believing them.
Slightly less humor in this post because of the importance….as always though there is a joke at the bottom so don’t worry.
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Whopping Lie 1: Work Hard And You Will Succeed
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This lie is summed up in the American Dream. Work hard and you will become rich, don’t work hard and you will remain poor.
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Although impassioned hard work is a prerequisite for a happy life it is not a guarantee of success.
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Putting aside the fact that each persons benchmark of success will be different, the success of any individual is influenced by an incredibly large number of factors, very few of which you actually have any control over.
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Circumstance, luck, Divine Intervention, Other People and Cotton Candy etc will all have a far larger effect on your personal success then most would care to admit.
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Work hard for something that you are passionate about, it will make you happy, but do not work hard for success. If you want to be successful it is better to work smart and hope that you are really really lucky.
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Whopping Lie 2: Owning Stuff Is The Key To Happiness
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The Western World has its values pretty much upside down. We benchmark happiness on the amount of stuff that we own and the amount of money we can accumulate in our lifetime. This is why we are called a consumer society.
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This value system makes about as much sense as a chocolate oven.
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Research has proven that after a certain point money does nothing to increase happiness and the accumulation of stuff actually starts causing stress and anxiety. We know this and yet we work harder and longer hours in order to achieve it which really doesn’t make any sense.
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Buying stuff does of course increase happiness in the short term but its lifespan is less than that of the suicide mosquito that has just landed on my arm.
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Read the post on “Owning Nothing and Experiencing Everything” for a case on a different approach to happiness and stop spending so many hours and so much sweat chasing an idea that you know is false.
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Whopping Lie 3: An Extensive School Education Is Vital To Success In Life
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No, No, No. Education is important but a “School Education” is not.
I went right though the education system from preschool to university degree. I was a geek and I did very well. I was able to regurgitate information with the best of them. Has this helped me out in life? No, not really.
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I really started to learn and be educated when I left the cotton wool environment of university and entered life naked, much to the shock of casual observers.
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University and further education help build discipline, teaches you to fend for yourself, creates relationships and helps you to define yourself and find your unique brand. If this works for you then great and enjoy it, I certainly did but do not allow anyone to tell you that it is vital.
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Life is a more creative teacher than university and those educated under her are far more likely to be crafty, clever, wise and flexible. Think 100 year old Foxy Monk Limbo Dancer.
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Does anyone wonder why so many successful people did not go through higher education.? It is because they were not institutionalise and therefore they question the status quo, they get creative and they solve problems more effectively then those educated to regurgitate.
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A life education with teach you Cash Flow, People Skills, Creativity, Dogged Determination and more. Higher Education will not.
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Whopping Lie 4: You Are Entitled To More Than You Can Afford
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Along with many other factors a large part of the financial crisis we are going through at the moment is because of peoples rooted belief that there are entitled to more than they can afford. Let me set the record straight, you are not.
Statistics range but I remember reading recently that people in the Western World might be currently spending 25-30% more than they earn.
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This is like going into a cake shop and buying a cake and then demanding another quarter without paying for it. And then expecting not to get punched in the nose.
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Apart from being absurd, you really don’t need that extra quarter at the moment. It will only make you sick.
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Even if your financial circumstance improve this does not automatically mean you should buy more cake, you might not need more cake fatty.
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Being able to afford something and needing something are two very different things. Not being able to afford something and not needing it but buying it anyway is a luxury we as a society CANNOT afford, no matter what the advertisers tell you.
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Whopping Lie 5: You Need To Play By The Rules
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First lets think who set the rules. Definitely not you or me and the chances are they are very much not in our favor, chances are they are helping a very small few others get incredibly rich.
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School – Higher Education – University – Pay Check – Mortgage – Pension – Retirement
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The Rat race rule is definitely one you can kick in the teeth. For some it works, but you don’t have to follow that rule.
There are many rules in life which I won’t go into, perhaps you could mention some you can think of in the comments below. However it is worth remembering,
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In the world where everyone is on train tracks it is the people that buck the train that escape to greener pastures.
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The Brutal Truths That Society Keeps Quite About
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Almost as unhelpful as the lies that society spreads is the truths that it keep hidden. Like Mulder and Scully, I am here to uncover the truth.
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Brutal Truth 1: Most of Life Is Luck
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Although successful people would probably be quick to disagree the truth is that really only a small part of their success can be put down to their own greatness.
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I have been insanely lucky in life and so have you. Right now you are in the top 10% in the world because you have access to the internet. Smile.
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It wasn’t due to your greatness and you ability or you hard work, you were born into it. I have been lucky to have the upbringing I did, the friends I did, the opportunity to travel, my great readers.
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I, like most others I would imagine would like to think that I had a larger than most part to play in my small successes to date but if I am really honest with myself I can attribute about as much being down to me as the 59th man in the office conga line .
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I have soared to where I am on the currents of advantageous circumstance, other people and divine intervention and very little to do with me.
This is not a depressing thing, it is a releasing realisation. I believe you can help manufacture luck by working hard and pushing yourself out there but ultimately just be content with how lucky you are at this moment in time. That should be enough, if it is not then not amount of luck or success is going to make you happy.
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Brutal Truth 2: You Are Less In Control Of Your Destiny Than You Think
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You do not know what is going to happen tomorrow. You can set all the plans that you want but they will probably not come to fruition. Just like the luck factor, the infulences of the world outside us has far more effect on the direction of our lives then we would like to admit.
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In your life boat you have a rudder but against the sea of life it has very little effect on your general direction and sometimes its broken anyway.
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This again is a freeing feeling. Live in the moment and plan but don’t worry too much about controlling the future. Just go with it.
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Brutal Truth 3: Ultimately Everything You Achieve Will Disappear
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Even the greatest amongst us only have a couple of hundred years shelf life after we are dead. Michael Jackson was a great entertainer, one of best, but by the time I die very few people will be talking about him, they will move on. They will move on over your achievements as well.
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If you are going to achieve anything in life, focus on the relationships you have in the small sphere of people you can have an influence on
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If you are religious then you no doubt believe that life goes on after death and so you will always have a different view on life than an atheist. Everything you achieve will disappear but perhaps you will live on.
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Even Alexander the Great will disappear eventually as the earth will some day die so don’t get too worked up about your achievements. Focus on people instead, achieve something for them.
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Brutal Truth 4: There Is No Perfect Way To Do Anything
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If you have been in the blogging field for a while then you will know what I mean when I say “Everyone has an Ebook”
There are many great blogs out there on almost any subject you can think of with talented bloggers showing people how to do and achieve everything. Some are even backed up with personal experience and proof that it works. Mine is no different.
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These instructions have worked under the unique circumstances of the creator and yours will not be exactly the same and so following the advise to the letter will probably not work for you.
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Learn to absorb information and advice from others and then put it through your own filtering system of experience and creativity to find out what works for you.
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It will not be what works for someone else, you need to find your own perfect way.
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Brutal Truth 5: Life Is Crap At Times
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I am an advocate of positive thinking and I strongly believe that people who think the best of every situation are more happy and successful in life.
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However lets be realistic and not pretend that life is perfect all the time. Life can be crap…and sometimes it can be really crap.
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People die, circumstances change, bad things happen…that is life. When things get really bad society likes you to put on a happy face and pretend that you are cooping well, it helps let everyone else get on with enjoying their lives.
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Don’t fall into this trap. When life is crap, except it. Get friends close to you and just live it, don’t try to push it out.
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Now For A Joke
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Yes it seems yet a more serious post but again I think a very important one. However, like is my fashion I will end with a joke so you can pick yourself up from the puddle you have created on the floor and dry you eyes…you may even laugh.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
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Twitter Updates
Awesome post. I hate the whole ‘rate race’ mentality. I never graduated high school and make more money per month freelance designing than both of my parents combined. I rent a townhouse and do not have plans on buying a home. I’m perfectly happy with that too
And yes, your truths are spot on. Hard word does pay off, but it’s the hard work that puts you in the spot of luck. You can work 12-15 hours a day in a metal shop and never move forward and call it working hard, or you can work hard building a business you want and come across that one person who changes your life forever. Both scenarios you are working hard, but the end result changes when the X factor comes into play.
Hi Mike, thanks for the comment and it’s awesome to hear of others who have shunned the main lies that society tells.
Also, your site is spectacular, you should get in contact with my good friend Cody at thrillingheroics.com as he is also a great designer and I reckon you guys have alot in common.
You are absolutely crazy for that joke at the end!
“In your life boat you have a rudder but against the sea of life it has very little effect on your general direction and sometimes its broken anyway.
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This again is a freeing feeling. Live in the moment and plan but don’t worry too much about controlling the future. Just go with it.”
This is definitely the way to live. I love this quote in your post and that is why I read your blog daily.
I will get to that post in the next few days about how I left the rat race and where I am today.
Thanks Gerlaine, your comments always bring a smile to my face.
well Jonny another intresting post or were you just having a bad day?
one thing to add. i have worked n psychiatry for many years and i try to teach my clients this principle.
i call it the “OH WELL” principle
there are things in this life you have no control over like my ability to spell (not really)and to often we spend vast amounts of time and energey trying to control it. this cause a down would spiral which can prove in some cases fatal. for example this week a lady killed her self because the bank rsused to reoffer a much needed overdraft facility for her compnay. this ment her company couldnt functin anymore and her home was at risk.
when things happen out of your control its important to apply the OH well principle. this is litrally saying oh well theres nothing i can do about it right now. you will be amazed how much ligter you feel and ofen the problem has a way of working its self out. and in the times it doesnt you need to take 5 min to sit back and take a look at the new direction your life is going ofent that direction has a better outcome than we think.
Lol James,
A bad hair day perhaps. I just write what comes to mind. You make some very valid points.
Reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
This post is very correct, I like the way you have explored each of life’s biggest misconception’s so often preached.
Thank you for your post.
Hi Dean, Thanks for the comment. I took the afternoon off yesterday and just walked around Bangkok for a few hours to clear my head and think. This post was one of the things that came out of it.
Another very good article! I would like to share with you a short video ( http://entrepreneur.venturebeat.com/2009/10/30/start-up-studies-a-pop-quiz/ ) where students at stanford are asked how they would turn $5 into how much money as possible in 2 hours. It turns how the successful ones are those who breaks the rules.
Love the video Oscar, I would like to get to know the guys that made the $650, pure genius.
All very true Jonny. I have a few more falsehoods:
1) We have to be something when we grow up – entrenched by that truly criminal question that every child endures “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
2) We have to ’specialise’ in a useful ’skill’ and spend 40 hours a week doing that one thing. This is a legacy of the factory system when it was efficient to have one person do one task all day long.
It’s entirely inhuman and out of date but happens to fit into the status quo of the system very nicely for those who hold the purse strings!
@Jamie – hey Jamie, I love your Oh Well principle. Sounds a lot like The Ultimate Spiritual Way
cheers,
Keith
Hi Keith.
I 100% agree with you and I very much dislike the fact that being a jack of all trades is looked down upon as I personally think it is the best way to succeed in this every changing and fast paced life.
Also “The Ultimate Spiritual Way” is insane, I love it.
Epic! dude Epic!
Except for the Truths 1,2&3 which will be debatable to a lot,
rest is creepily true in fact.
Cheers Varun. I like the term creepily true lol.
It’s amazing to what extent people have bought into those lies for such a long time. And I don’t make an exception for myself – I’ve been guilty, too.
Fortunately more and more people are starting to realize that there’s alternatives.
Thanks for the great post. I just printed myself a summary of the main points to serve as a reminder.
P.S.: Good, you fixed the broken twitter link in your sidebar. That was quick.
Hello there Marko,
Great to hear that you have printed a summary, that is the greatest compliment I could have recieved. I see that you are new to blogging, best of luck with it.
Twitter wasn’t working because of a schooboy error on my part. All up and running now though, better start using the thing.
Whopping lie #2 is one that I can really relate to right now. I’m in the process of getting rid of most of my possessions, and so far it is one of the greatest things I have done. Life isn’t a race to the most possessions, and more people need to realize that. Nice post man.
Good for you Nate,
It is amzing the freedom you will find when you drastically reduce the amount of stuff that you own.
Thanks for the comment.
Hi Jonny, I loved this article. I strongly agree with most of these lies and truths. Those lies about material possessions and formal education are truly whoppers.
The one area where I disagree is the luck part. You are partly right. I was lucky to be born in the western world, to intelligent and educated parents, etc. BUT, so have a lot of other people. Some of done better and a lot have done much worse. We all have a different starting line and different things happen along the way, but it’s not a coincidence that some people seem to have the golden touch and everything they do turns to gold.
It’s what you do in the circumstances that you find yourself in that matter most and that is not luck. Somebody may have started the race ahead or behind me, but it’s our responsibility to make the best of wherever we find ourselves.
Hi Stephen, thanks for the comment.
I had a feeling the luck aspect might bring up some differing thoughts. Overriding luck and its place in success is a difficult one as it can be interpreted in such a large variety of ways and I think that of course there is a strong case for the individual in having the golden touch.
Jonny, excellent post man
” Ultimately Everything You Achieve Will Disappear ”
So focus on people. This is the key
Hi Jon, Welcome to thelifething and thanks for the comment. Excellent looking blog btw.
I can really relate to Lie # 3: An Extensive School Education Is Vital To Success In Life. I’ve met people with Masters degrees who are some of the most clueless people I’ve ever met—when it comes to social skills, finances, personal drive, and a multitude of other things.
I believe that higher education is only necessary when it harmonizes with one’s passions and life goals. If it doesn’t, than it’s better to bypass that education which may not be much use and go straight to the passions and goals.
Couldn’t Agree more Tim.
If the higher education system works for you then great, enjoy it however if it doesn’t then just get straight into life, it is a better educator anyhow.
Thanks for dropping past the site, I hope you subscribe and become a regular reader.
Hey Jonny,
great post that you’ve written here, I love the way you have integrated humor to the “creepily truthful” post, it certainly lights up the mood a bit with the lies that society bestows upon us.
The lie #2 hit the spot for me, and it doesn’t even just apply to the western world. From where I come from (China), everything and I mean EVERYTHING is about money.
Seriously, thinking about it makes me sick and angry already. My dad went back earlier this year, and he told me that almost everyone he talked to were bragging about their cars and houses. I thought that was ridiculous, I knew that Chinese people tend to put money as very important things, but I never realized that the exaggerated money rumors of the Chinese is true.
So very sad with what our cultures can make us do and believe.
Anyways, thanks Jonny for this post, I love posts that speaks the truth!
Steven
Hey Steven,
Thanks for the comment and it is truly amazing how relaxing just a touch of humor can be from time to time. It was interesting reading your comment, I never realised money was such a big thing in China. I spent a month living out in Shanghai but not long enough to really appreciate the culture.
Btw I love your site design and logo. Those little cartoons you do are funny as well, made me laugh.
But what about asking the universe to give you what you desire of it, and resonating on a higher frequency? Dude, I loved this article. You were right that people mostly love honesty, but a lot of people are afraid of the truth. You know, because it hurts and stuff.
HI Dan, thanks for dropping past the site and I love the name innerbadass.com.
I love your cake analogy. That last quarter definitely makes you sick.
One of the best ways I’ve learned to get rid of stuff is by moving to the city (Chicago). Very little room in storage makes it impossible for me to hold on to extra possessions I don’t need or buy food that doesn’t fit in my tiny kitchen.
Thanks for the post!
Hi Monica, thanks for taking the time to comment, it is always greatly appreciated, especially by new readers.
I like your approach by changing circumstance so that you are required to change habits. I follow the same principle.
I hope you will be visiting us again.
Not only is the rudder often broken, but remember it is completely dark half the time, too.
James, An incredibly insightful observation. Thanks for the comment.
Great blog! Glad I came across it…
I find it interesting that, for the most part, the underlying theme of your List of Lies is economics. And your Truths largely omit that subject. That in itself illustrates the problem, which is “What are the personal/cultural definitions of ’success’?”.
You point out in Lie #1 “Work hard for something that you are passionate about, it will make you happy, but do not work hard for success.” You’ve equated success with the attainment of economic indulgence. For many, the statement contradicts itself, because success is the pursuit and attainment of happiness.
This is not news, but some background on how other countries are developing metrics that follow the happiness quotient of their citizens… This concept is now being considered by some European countries; most recently and notably, France’s President Sarkozy is pushing the idea:
Report from Bhutan: GNH v. GNP:
http://communityindicators.blogspot.com/2009/06/report-from-bhutan-gnh-v-gnp-by-junko.html
Sarkozy’s happiness index is worth taking seriously:
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/john-lichfield/john-lichfield-sarkozys-happiness-index-is-worth-taking-seriously-1790323.html
Again, awesome blog!
Hi Matt,
Excellemt comment and it is really arppreciated. I heard aout the happiness quotient in Bhutan on the “Stuff You Should KNow Podcast”and how governments where benchmarking the happiness of their people in other ways other than GNP.
It was really incredible to hear the lengths that they have got to get an accurate assessment of their countries Gross National Happiness.
Really excellent comment mate and I hope you stic around the site. I wold be really intereste in your further comments.
Listen to this guy people.
Brilliant post! One of the best I’ve ever read, so concise and insightful.
You have inspired me, and probably hundred of others with this post, thank you.
Hi Mike,
Thanks for the comment mate, really appreciated. Glad you enjoyed it.
Btw, interesting site you have, I like it.
Jonny, I am loving the articles you right, and this one is good, but I have to object with your first “BRUTAL” truth as a BRUTAL FALSEHOOD. That is the kind of thinking people to make excuses for why their lives suck. Oh “such and such is just luckier than me” or “I just have bad luck”
That’s horrible advice and thinking. So many of the greatest minds have said there is no luck, but only what you make.
But maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s what you do with bad and good luck. Those who seek the best and opportunities in every situation.
Hi Mike,
I can both agree and disagree. Hard work is definitely not a guarantee of success as in this day and age you have to be working smart as well.
However, I would have to say that far more of life and success is actually down to luck then most would like to accept. Take for example the fact that as you have access to a computer and the internet you are already in the top 10% most affluent people on the planet. That had nothing to do with you, it was just luck that you were born in the Western world.
This is not, however an excuse for being lazy, far from it and I believe that those that work harder do seem to be luckier than those that don’t.